Down in the South, wedding customs are a serious affair, beginning from the very moment we exchange “yes” and continuing long after the “I do” has been said. The journey in between is a whirlwind of festivities (with countless bridal showers), meticulous planning (where deviled eggs are a must at the cocktail hour), etiquette (with a mountain of thank you notes to send), and age-old traditions that have been cherished and passed down through generations, with no intention of changing course.
Here are nine enduring Southern wedding customs that we hold dear and follow with pride.
One of our cherished Southern wedding customs, steeped in superstition, is the practice of burying bourbon. The exact origins of this ritual are shrouded in mystery, but it’s said that if you bury a bottle of bourbon a month prior to your wedding, you’ll be blessed with favorable weather on your special day. It must be bourbon, not whiskey, and it must be buried upside down to ensure the best possible weather. Traditionally, after the wedding ceremony, the bottle is unearthed and shared with family and the wedding party, or it’s saved for a significant anniversary celebration.
For those who’ve been to a wedding in the South, especially in Louisiana, they’ve likely heard of the time-honored tradition of the cake pull. This involves embedding good-luck charms into the bottom layer of the cake, attached to delicate ribbons, which are then pulled by the bridesmaids or loved ones, particularly those who are still single. These charms hold specific meanings: pull a hot air balloon, and you’ll embark on a life of adventure; see a star charm, and all your wishes will be granted; and find a butterfly, and you’ll enjoy perpetual beauty. This delightful tradition is often performed at the reception, bridal shower, or the bridesmaids’ luncheon.
Specific to Louisiana weddings, the second line parade is a vibrant and joyous tradition. A brass band and the parasol-clad newlyweds lead their guests, who wave handkerchiefs or napkins, on a festive procession through the city or around the reception venue. This musical parade is a lively send-off for the couple as they step into married life with a flourish.
Thanks to the iconic film “Steel Magnolias” and its “roadkill armadillo” cake, over-the-top groom’s cakes have become a cherished tradition in the South, with themes ranging from SEC teams to hunting motifs, state flags, bourbon, and anything else a Southern groom might cherish. While the tradition originated in Victorian England, the South has taken it to new heights, infusing our own unique twist.
At some classic Southern weddings, you’ll see a sea of bridesmaids and groomsmen at the altar, outnumbering the nuptials you might attend elsewhere. This custom, which is less strict than in other regions, stems from our large Southern families and our Southern politeness, which dictates that no one should be left out. Expect similarly large bridal shower guest lists and fierce competition during the bouquet toss.
We Southerners are practically experts in writing thank you notes—indeed, we feel almost compelled to reciprocate when we receive one. This is especially true for wedding gifts and well wishes. With potentially dozens, or even hundreds, of handwritten notes from the couple to their guests on monogrammed, embossed stationery, this tradition is deeply rooted in our etiquette-driven Southern culture. After all, there’s sure to be talk if they’re not sent out.
While it’s not our favorite Southern wedding custom, it’s a fact that Southerners take college football seriously—and game day is a serious affair. If a couple chooses to wed during football season, or on the day of a crucial match-up or rivalry game, they should be prepared to lose a few guests or to cater to the fervent football fans among the guest list with a big screen showing the game at the reception. You might even hear the bride and groom cheering along with the crowd.
Similarly to dress codes like “cowboy formal” or “Texas formal,” our dress code offers a bit more flexibility, fitting the locale and guest list. Cowboy boots are almost always appropriate, whether it’s a laid-back backyard wedding or a formal black-tie event. Even with a tuxedo, black cowboy boots are the way to go. In recent years, such festive dress codes have become more popular, encouraging guests to dress up while still expressing their personal style and Southern heritage.
It turns out, including children in a wedding ceremony, adorned in frilly dresses and seersucker suits, is quite the Southern tradition. In fact, inviting children to weddings is more common in the South than in other regions, as a Southern wedding is akin to a family reunion, bringing together little ones and great-aunts alike. While some might view children at weddings as an etiquette issue, Southerners don’t see it that way. Everyone is welcome, as long as they’re formally invited, of course!
